搬出宿舍的那天我醒的很早。龙卷风的边缘又一次擦过附近,天花板亮过几次又暗了下来。

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       半个星期之前我站在教室的黑板前,粉笔槽托着装裱好的六幅肖像。

      “The first thing I want to say is that, I hate these photos.

      My original intention was inspired by Jungian Theory, talking about how self and shadow, anima and animus. However, I had such a plan for my project that I started drawing sketch for the photos, even planning for their emotions. I used five rolls of film, took them to the darkroom. When I was reviewing the contact sheet I knew it was way off what I was ought to do.  As a photographer, I hate snap shots, I always believe that light setting, appropriate communication makes the best protraits. However careful planning does not mean showing the emotions I planned myself instead of taking the real expressions people have.

      Those photos look so fake.

      Then I took another three rolls about myself. The doubt I have about the project, the self-hate and the frustration, which, you can see on my face. They show the challenge I met during this month, the conflict between dream and reality.

      Conflict is an essential elment in my photos.

     And here I am showing you this series of my self doubt. They are such of the reality, that I can’t stop hating them”

     

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